does culture matter?

Last week,we had lectures on intercultural communication. And it reminded me of my thai friends in Chiangmai.(=

I remembered that this photo was taken almost two years ago when me and my schoolmates went over chiangmai for community involvement project. We were in partnership with a few thai students from Satit High School. And these were a few of them. It is more like a conservative culture over there. Before we went over there,teachers have already warned us to bring along at least one set of our school uniforms WITH the length of school skirt over our knees. They said that it is a respect to them not to wear short school skirts into their school. At that point in time, I didnt quite get what is the big fuss about.  Across schools in Singapore nowadays, the length of skirts female students wear is getting shorter and shorter.  So,anyway,we got there and i was rather surprised to know and see that these thai students, even though they are 15-16years old, their skirt lengths were way over their knees. We then realised that that’s their culture there. No one wears skirt above knee in school. This short example conincides with what Edward T. Hall said about culture,that is “culture influences how we think and behave”. It also shows how cultural norms differ between different cultures,different countries. It is a norm to see people wearing short skirts here in Singapore,but yet it is not a norm in Chiangmai. But I guess in the end,it is important that we respect and accept each other’s culture. Maybe in this way,the cultural barrier to communication can then be effectively minimized.(=

 

 

Source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/sexykitty/2565538346/

Next up, I love the photo above. Brilliant showcase of collectivism VS individualism.  Do you consider yourself to be an individualist or collectivist?  Individuliasm,as the name suggests, it means that your behaviour and values is largely due to you,yourself. You do not usually conform to the society that you are in. And, on the other hand,collectivism is just the opposite. Your behaviour is usually due to how your ingroup or society behves. You conform to suit what the group wants instead of what you want. Well,i feel that i am a collectivist. I am the kind that would conform into the group that i am in. However, I do feel that everyone of us would have a little of each type of culture in us,both collectivism and individualism,just the extent of impact each one may differ between different inidividuals. What do you think? (=

verbal communication

 

Picture taken from: http://www.slcc.edu/languagelab/

I read this particular article on bbc news recently. It was the title that caught my attention; ” The Death of Language?” was it. So, i clicked on it to view the full article and read on. It talked about the declining interest for language and that slowly,spoken languages will be faced with the probability of being extinct. I am surprised to know that according to ethnologue, only 6% of the world’s languages are spoken by almost 94% of world’s population. And rest of the 94% is only spoken by the rest of the 6% of world’s population.

For more information on the article, visit the link below:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/today/hi/today/newsid_8311000/8311069.stm 

Source: BBC News

 They also pointed out that because of the rapidly-changing world and also due to globlisation, small groups of people with unique cultural background and language came out of their small space to interact and socialise with people in cities. Their unique language is thus lost in the process of picking up new languages. From what i have learnt, language does affect the way we think and how we go about looking at a particular issue. Therefore, i feel that we are losing part of our culture if we are losing our own unique language that our forefathers passed down to us. In such a case, it would be a rather sad thing. Take chinese for instance. Alot of young children and teenagers nowadays dislike learning the chinese language,which i felt is a disappointing truth to know. To me,it’s more like you are a chinese and chinese language is part of your culture and tradition. So if you are telling me that you hate the chinese language,does that mean you hate your traditional culture and roots too? If that is the case,it would be really sad,isn’t it?

Group Communication

MY BELOVED UB ORIENTATION GROUPMATES! (=

Group communication this week. We all know what a group is, but this is how Treholm defines a group: ” It is a collection of individuals who,as a result of interacting with one another over time,become interdependent, developing shared patterns of behaviour and a collective identity.”

Take my orientation group for example. We started off as individuals,coming from different schools,different backgrounds. Through UB fall orientation,we came together as a group. Next,interaction was brought in when we started to mingle around. Understanding deepens through games and time spent on the little island,Sentosa. After that day, we contacted each other and realised that most of us are in the same classes for the various modules for this semester. We hung out often,before lectures,during lectures and even after lectures. Interdependence slowly sets in, when we text and call each other on a regualr basis. Commonality between us can also be seen; heading to the canteen/Megabites after lectures. Lastly, we become a collective identity. This is just a typical example of group formation. I am sure you people would have experienced this at some of time,wouldnt you? (=

The feeling of needed to be included so that we will not feel lonely,the feeling of being affirmed and the feeling of being able to control things,situations and people are some reasons why we choose to communicate and stay in groups.

Next up, another kind of group that i am going to touch on will be fan clubs.

Source: http://petriarch.com/

http://www.mjfanclub.net/home/index.php

Apparently,the web link will bring you to Michael Jackson’s Fan Club. Fan club is a kind of group that many may neglect unless you are a member of a certain fan club. Such a huge fan club,I would have guessed that maintainence roles could not be that easy. Especially for the president of this fan club,he/she would have to balance between his/her personal needs and group needs. There may be certain group pressure arising when he/she first started out this fan club with his/her fellow members. He/She would then need to gain support from his/her members in whatver decisions he/she decides to make.

Members can also contribute to the group by taking up roles in a way or another. For instance, in a fan club,event coordinators are important. They will have to coordinate with various sectors and in-charge in order for the club to run well. Other jobs may include energisers, evaluator,information giver,not forgetting recorder. All these do contribute to the success of the group,dont you think so?(=

Interpersonal communication

                                                    

Awww… Yes! That’s right. (= Today’s topic is all on interpersonal relationship and the communication within it.

First, interpersonal communication can be defined as communication between two people,with face-to-face interaction. So, I was thinking to myself when this whole lecture began, why can’t interpersonal communication be on friendship? Must it neccesary be on boy-girl relationship? Then, Gillian made me realised that in the book “Thinking Through Communication”, based on a number of scholars, not all dyads are interpersonal. According to them, they believe that dyadic communication becomes interpersonal when the amount of information communicators know about each other change,with rules governing the relationship. That is why the main focus over the past week of lectures were on relationships.

Moving on, DeFleur et al helped us to see the role of communication in relationships by establishing three main processes; mainly engagement, management and disengagement.

Engagment:  There are many factors contributing to formation of a relationship. Physical appearance, similarities and differences betweent the two,exchange as well as proximity are some of them. As of physical appearance, I do agree that it does affect very much on formation. Because most of the time, that is the first thing you would notice about a person before verbal communication comes in. However,as the saying goes, ‘Beauty is in the eye of the beholder’, therefore,its subjective.  Also, we tend to find partners that share the same values or goals as us. This can help us eliminate potential risks in relationship. Yet,usually we do like some differences in our partners too,especially differences that complement us. Dont you agree?(=

Maintenance: Its tough to maintain a relationship and one way to deal with it is self-disclosure. When you share information about yourself to your partner, it allows him/her to understand you better. At the same time,it can allow you to get to know yourself better. Conflicts can also arise in the midst of it. This always happens due to differences in viewpoints. They can be helpful or harmful and it depends on how you go about resolving them.

Disengagement: This is normally known as the ending of a relationship or a break-up. It can occur due to many many reasons such as deception,change, aversive communication behaviors etc. There are a few dissolution models,but I prefer Cody’s model. First, neagtive feelings about the other party will come in.You feel that your no longer a couple.Next, relationship will slow down. Then,justification comes in when couples come together and talk through why this relationship should end. After which, the two may console each other to move on. Lastly, the two will avoid possible contact. Ok,this sounds sad. =(

Starting to feel sad? Thinking about your previous relationship? Don’t be. Here’s a short video clip for you to enjoy.(=

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=148280734491&ref=mf

Source: http://mooheremoothere.blogspot.com/

(sorry,I cant seem to upload the video so you will have to click on the link. Do watch it.(=)

Sweet? There are quite a few of comments going around in facebook about it. I felt that although it’s a simple video but it is a good example of part of Knapp model of relationship. He describes the development of relatiosnship as 10 stages in 2 phases. This video clip focus on only the first 5 stages though.

Stage 1: Initiating.This can be seen from 0:42- 2:49. He filtered off the different girls and took notice of her.

Stage 2: Experimenting, 2:50- 3:24. This is when there is a little disclosure of interest in her when he kept passing by her classroom to establish contact with her.

Stage 3: Intensifying, 3:25- 4.49. There is increased interaction between the two. Disclosure of feelings can clearly be seen when she made him something to eat and he folded paper cranes for her.

Stage 4: Intergrating, 4:50- 5:16. This is when they establish their relationship through their social networks. Or in this case, people at the different stages of their lives would know about them being together.

Stage 5: Bonding. Not exactly shown in the video.But since this video is a wedding narrative,more or less,we can infer that this couple is going on to this stage of Knapp’s model and that is to get married.(=

non-verbal communication

Here i am again. This week with non-verbal communication as the topic.

Our daily communication with others consist of not only verbal,but also non-verbal. And something that you might not notice,non-verbal communication actually takes up a very big part of messages sent and received. Yes, I did not quite realised this fact too until that day when Ms Hui told us in lecture. I think it’s because we often take it for granted,focussing more on what people say- content, rather than THAT more important part of communication.

There are different types of non-verbal communication. Body language,tone,eye-contact,gestures,postures as well as facial expressions are just a few types of it.

Body language is one strong and powerful tool that is used. It can help us determine alot of things about the party that you are communicating with. It can tell us if a person is bored,annoyed,happy or upset with you by the way he/she presents himself/herself when you two are communicating. In turn,you may be in time to turn a bad situation around if you are observant to such non-verbal cues.

Eye-contact. I used to be rather shy,not that i am not shy now.Haha.But yes,i did not like maintaining eye contact with people in the past. Now that i realised that it is rather rude not to look at peoplein the eye when they are talking, I have slowly learnt to maintain eye contact when communicating. It is a form of respect and courtesy,it also draws people to focus on you when you speak. This should be rather important to us during presentations,dont you think so? (=

Facial expressions can allow us to know the exact meaning of the phrase or sentence said. We may not mean what we say sometimes,but facial expressions most of the time cannot be hidden. So,again,if we can effectively observe these helpful cues, alot of misunderstandings and arguments can then be prevented.

Now,here’s a little video clip. I found it rather interesting…

Haha! Now we can go around looking out to see if others are lying to us…(=

Back to topic. Even though these cues can help us in alot of ways, I must say that the meaning interpreted from these non-verbal cues are still subjective. How we perceive the non-verbal cues still depends on us,the receivers. If we interpret the cues wrongly, it can do more harm than good. Agree? (=

wrong or right perceptions?

What is perception? According to my understanding, perception is one’s point of view. It is how we see and understand a piece of information given to us. However, what attracts me more is this question: is there wrong or right to a perception? Recently, something major happened and it kept me thinking if my perceptions of certain things are wrong. Apparently, the factors that affect our perceptions on things include the society, our upbringing, attitude, experiences and of course the mass media. Because of all these different factors, we interpret information differently and therefore,our core values and principles in life may also differ. 

If you realize that your friends have different values as you,and that you perceive those values differently or even as something wrong,what will you do? Trying to change the way your friend think? Or accept his/her perception? (= Do take note that i am not trying to pin-point on any particular subject. It is just a question that is on mind for long.

Source:  http://stomp.com.sg

This photo is actually taken outside the writer,Wilson’s flat. His neighbour had actually hung her undergarments outside his flat. Obviously, first thought about this is that the neighbour was rather inconsiderate. But again, was it due to her having this perception that it is not wrong to do this to her neighbour? If it is, can we say that her perception is wrong?  For the full write-up on the incident, please read it up at http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/stomp/sgseen/what_bugs_me/254330/shameless_neighbour_hangs_her_panties_right_in_front_of_my_door.html

Now, to share a little stuff with you guys. I was chatting with this friend today morning. And we came across the topic on friendships. It bothered her alot to try to keep friendships when the other party dont seem to value it as much. Then, she told me that she discussed this issue with another friend of hers and the friend replied her with a ‘ don’t be so bothered on such minor things’  . But to her, this issue is not something minor to begin with. She perceived it as a big part of her life. Yet, her friend perceived it as something small…from this,it can be clearly seen that our values do affect much on how we see things.

Source: www.britannica.com

What do you see in the picture above? (=

If you see a vase in the picture,you are right. If you see two faces,you are also right. In such cases,there seems to have no right or wrong perceptions,isn’t it?

Take a look at this video below,

Source: www.youtube.com

How will you perceive this? (=

I felt dissapointed with the judges choice of her being Miss Singapore 2009. I think that as Miss Singapore, it is not just about the looks,but also the way she presents herself.  She is going to be the one representing the country, our nation’s pride. Communication skills should be therefore a major criteria. Don’t you guys agree?

Teen’s suicide pact

I am sure most of you would have heard or saw the news, on a 16-year old boy who actually managed to influence his peers into a suicide pact together with him, by now. Though the incident happened on 23th August last year, inquiries and hearings of the deaths of his peer and him were only being carried out recently.

 

16 year-old Ku Witaya have effectively persuaded his peers into ending their lives with him in order to ‘save the world’. However, 6 of those who signed the pact backed out right before the suicide,leaving him and another 16 year-old boy,Chan Hong, jumping off from Witaya’s flat that fateful day.

http://news.asiaone.com/News/The%2BNew%2BPaper/Story/A1Story20090910-167063.html

Above this is the link to a news article on the the case of the suicide,feel free to read it through.(=

 

Why did i choose this article to talk about?  This article has been in my mind for days. For some reason, it kind of impacted me. It has always been a human instinct to live on. Needless to say,most of us are fearful of death. Death of any kind,be it us or even the closest people around us. Therefore, I am taken aback by how Witaya could persuade and influence his peers to make them believe that they have to save the world and even agree to sign the pact, with one of them going to the extent to carry out their suicide plan.

 

And I feel that psychological perspective of communication can be seen clearly from this case. Psychological perspective of communication ignores how communication happens in the social context. It only takes into consideration of the communication between individuals. The way that the group of boys can come into agreement with the suicide pact without thinking about how the society looks at suicide as a whole or even how they will be viewed by others if they really do try to end their lives shows how psychological perspective is at work in our daily lives. Many times in life, we do not just comply to social rules and regulations,but present a more individualistic self when we communicate. 

 

Another way of viewing this will be what I have learnt ” individuals create communication”. Witaya’s persuasion skills as well as his individual thoughts and beliefs on his religion allowed him to convey messages to his peers that they were needed as slayers to deal with the demons so as the save the world. It’s definitely a more personal point of view than how the society deemed it to be. I believed that it was because of his frequent meditations and preachings, which served as a medium for communication,that influenced his peers to be like him,changing their mindsets and eventually causing such a tragedy to happpen…